In disturbing news, I’ve noticed a previously undiagnosed medical condition appearing while I have been away from blogging (tending to small animals and releasing a paper on the migration patterns of salmon you know the usual). I’m referring to it as ‘supermarket amnesia’ and honestly it’s creating havoc.
This nasty ailment strikes almost as soon as I walk through the door of my chosen purveyor of produce and other child and cat related goods (this seems to be what I shop for 6 days out of 7). It doesn’t discriminate, it happens regardless of whether i’m leaping around waving a big red hand and singing ‘down, down, prices are down’ or humming along to the always catchy ‘fresh food people’ jingle. It’s insidious like that, this condition. Lurking around previously innocent looking corners. I even suspect I could catch it should I wander through the doors of IGA or even ALDI. Conniving fiend that it is.
I’m talking about my complete and utter inability to remember a single thing that I actually need from the supermarket once I’ve actually set foot inside. I could have my list alphabeticised in my head in the previous two minutes as I sip my coffee and text friends about serious political issues but as soon as I cross the threshold? Gonski’s. I am like a migrating salmon, separated from its pack. I swim (wander) aimlessly through the aisles, drawn to things like marinated feta and kale slaw, conveniently forgetting spinach, pumpkin and bananas. Things only get worse as I plow deeper into the cave-like surrounds. Salmon is purchased but no chicken or beef. Gourmet yoghurt, but no milk. Sometimes I manage to come-to long enough to throw a few packets of pasta into the trolley but, before I know it, I’m gone again, buying another bag of organic polenta to join the other three we have at home. It is a curse people, a curse.
The only known cure i’m told, is a list but who has time to make lists (my mum does, God bless her, she even fills it out in aisle order. She is a living legend)? I’ve tried buying one of those Kikki K shopping list pads where you tick boxes and all that jazz but the condition seems to affect the written word as well, rendering those ticks about as useful as hieroglyphics.
This week though, I’m going to try harder. I’m going to write a clear, concise list, that doesn’t have drawings of hibiscus flowers and random bits of blog posts written around the edges. I shall put it in my handbag, not my wallet where it gets all scrunched up and dog eared. I will not give it to my child to play with (read, chew on) and I will absolutely not pull it out, stare at it, decide I don’t like anything written on it and dramatically throw it into the nearest rubbish bin. I shall be responsible and fill my trolley with necessary items that, combined, could actually make a decent meal.
That’s this weeks resolution anyhow.. How about you? Do you suffer from the dreaded supermarket amnesia? Any known cures?