There’s been plenty going on around here this past week. We kicked off with the rather enormous ‘first day of daycare’ on Monday. I’ll admit that Sunday afternoon and evening was a weird one. Lots of emotions flying around the place. After we put the little man to bed for the night, I stood downstairs, ironing labels onto a bunch of clothes I’d ear-marked as ‘daycare wear’. It was a rather poignant moment in some ways; I’ve never felt more like a mother yet at the same time, like I was back at day one again, scared and a bit bewildered about what was to come.
Monday arrived and thankfully, it went off without a hitch. There were tears (his, I think I’d cried all mine out in the days leading up) but apparently they didn’t last long. And when I picked him up at lunchtime I got the experience the famous ‘post care cuddle’. It was one of the best I’ve ever, ever gotten. Though we’re just doing Mondays to start with, we also did a Wednesday this week to make up for the day we missed with the public holiday. I was a bit trepidatious on the drive to the centre as I worried that he might ‘remember’ what had happened on Monday and become upset when we arrived. Luckily, my fears were unfounded and he happily skipped in, bag on back. There were tears again when I left and this time a bit of a breakdown from me in the car on the way back into town. Him trying to hide my keys so that I couldn’t leave pulled on the heartstrings and it took a garbled phone call to the husband and a milky flat white to get me sorted.
I sneaked in again at lunchtime and got to observe for a couple of minutes as he sat at the little lunch table, finishing his toasted sandwich and chattering away happily to the kid next to him. I joined him to share some grapes and got a chance to speak to his teachers who all remarked on how amazingly well he has settled in. They remarked on what a happy, smily kid he was and I teared up again. Sitting down with lovely husband on Wednesday night, we both got a bit of a lump in our throats thinking about what a happy, well adjusted little boy he is growing into and how well he’s taken this new experience in his stride. As I said, you always fear that you might not have done it right, that you’ve somehow messed up the past two years and not equipped your kids with the skills they need to continue to grow and prosper. Seeing Ollie sitting at that table, eating his lunch and babbling away made my heart bubble over. Him and I have certainly had a bit of a higgedly piggeldy path to tread, with our early feeding issues, his sleeping quirks, my mental health but we’ve come out the other end.
He, and where we are now is the thing In my life I am the most proud of.
In other news, there’s been baking and beauty. The bump is really starting to pop and I’m slowly realising that I’ll have a newborn baby in less than 20 weeks. Eeek. I’m feeling tired but mentally and physically pretty darn good. I’ve now been off medication for 22 odd weeks and while I still often go to pop a little white pill of a morning, I’m suprised how well I’ve adjusted. I’m continuing to meditate daily, sometimes even twice, and find it’s helping my anxiety AND productivity levels hugely (I;ll be posting a round up of my favourite Meditation Apps early next week). There’s been plenty of laughs, a few flash backs and a nightly visit from a very friendly cockatoo that has Ollie in raptures.